Tuesday, June 06, 2006

The Pink Panther (2006)

It's turning into Joe Bob Briggs Drive-In-Theatre around here.

I guess I haven't been in the mood to watch anything demanding, or inspiring lately.

It's not by design that I've been watching crappy movies lately. I have Capote, Squid and the Whale, and Good Night and Good Luck, sitting on my shelves, waiting to be watched for the first time by me, and for some strange reason I'm throwing on stuff like this.

It's just that lately, I've been wanting to just sit in front of my big screen and just......exist.

I just haven't been in the mood to think.

I'm guessing it's because I've been tired from acting in a theatrical production the last month. I've just felt so lazy. But our show closed last week. So I'm guessing I'll start to watch more demanding material, as my energy and strength returns.

In the meantime.....I must pay for my laziness.

First off....wow.

How does one review a movie like this?

It's not that I can honestly critique the story, acting or directing in the movie.

I honestly think nobody really cared.

It's just not that type of movie.

I mean it's rated PG.....I can't remember when the last time I watched a PG movie....on purpose.
It's been a long time, I almost forgot what the initials PG stands for. If I remember correctly this movie is aimed at amusing small children, babies..... and small puppy dogs. Dogs that like loud crashes, and colorful pictures.

Isn't that what PG means? Puppy Guidance?

In any case, this movie is exactly what one suspects from seeing the preview.

Just silly kiddy puppy humor.

Lots of prat falls and one liners that 5 year olds can understand.

To be honest it's not like the original material is sophisticated stuff either. I recently watched some of the movies, and it's not as good as I remember....at all.

I think Shot in the Dark is the best of the bunch, and even that isn't half as good as Peter Sellers and Blake Edwards other movie The Party.

So I wonder why they even bother to make this movie.

The only thing I can think of is that they were hoping to start another series of movies with this franchise.

To try and make some serious cash.

They obviously failed.

First off, the major problem with the film is the casting of Steve Martin. Although Martin can be amusing...... sometimes....I guess. This material is simply not his style of humor anymore. It's been a long time since The Jerk, and the truth is nobody wants to see him do this type of humor anymore.

They want Cheaper by the Dozen Steve Martin.

Chasing kids and changing diapers.

Another problem is....everything else.

This movie has a uninspired script, actors who are obviously around just to pick up a paycheck, and a director in Shawn Levy who's strength is directing movies for kids....or puppy dogs.

I feel guilty for criticizing the movie.

The truth is, I should have never watched this movie.

Actually, this is all my fault. Not the filmmakers fault. This movie isn't made for me.

Who am I kidding, thinking that this movie would have any chance at amusing me in the slightest.

I must pay for my laziness, so I don't deserve the right to criticize this movie.

I will say that Beyonce Knowles and Emily Mortimer are nice eye candy in the movie. They are affable and charming, and obviously more deserving of better material.

Jean Reno....man.... what is he doing in this movie?

The star of Ronin and The Professional?


I guess everytime a movie needs a French actor they call him up. Which is why he's in The Da Vinci code too.

He's a great actor too. I like him in a lot of tough guy movies. I think he's funny too, in movies like The Visitors, and For Roseanna.

I'm hoping that Hollywood finds a way to utilize his talents more effectively, or else I'm sure he'll just give up, and stick to doing just French language films. I know he's not artistically challenged by any of the Hollywood movies they are casting him in.

I think the best thing about the movie is Kevin Kline.

But that's not saying much, he has a small part.

Kevin Kline is another actor who can't seem to find the right role in Hollywood lately. He's extremely talented, and they have him as a comic foil? Why? I don't know.

I'm not really going to go into the story, it would be insulting to do so. I'll just say that it's sort of a comic mystery. That's not too hard to figure out, unless one is a puppy dog....a retartded one at that.

In any case, as the rating says, this movie should only be watched by small children....and puppy dogs.

Like it was designed for.

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