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Saturday, June 03, 2006

The 55.00 Haircut

I swear I'm not high maintenance.

Anyone who knows me will vouch that I'm a jeans and tennis shoes kind of guy.

But that's how much it costs for me to get a hair cut.

I'm probably the only guy in the world who pays that much, me and Ryan Seacrest.....maybe Ben Affleck.

I know that sounds like a lot of money. But, trust me it's worth it. I only bring it up because I'm amazed by how many compliments I get. It feels like I got a trim. But people compliment me like I had a head transplant or something.

It wasn't always that way.

I used to get my haircut done at the 8 dollar barbers, or Supercuts all the time, but I just got sick of getting bad hair cuts. It was always a crap shoot.

Every other time I would get bad hair cuts, the other times it would just be decent. The kind of cut where one tells themselves they needed a week to grow into it. Before they knew it, it's a month later and they're making an appointment for their next cut.

It's not like I have a lot going for me in the looks department to begin with. I don't need the extra disadvantage of a bad hair cut.

In elementary school, I had bad hair cuts all the time.

Seriously, my head was like a bird nest. My sideburns would be uneven, I'd have a bald spot near my ear. Some parts would be spiked, other parts too long.

I'd scare small children, and puppy dogs with my hair style, cute puppys.

Seriously, I had wild hair.

Straight, but wild.

You know the hair cut that Jim Carrey sported in Dumb and Dumber? The bowl cut? That was my hair. Except I also sported the mustache that Pedro had in Napoleon Dynamite.

I'm serious. If one comes over my mom's house they can see pictures of me hanging all over her wall. Sporting that look.

On second thought...don't do that....please don't EVER do that.

It didn't stop in High school either. I don't know how I was ever able to attract people of the opposite sex.

My theory is that they took pity on me.

Either that..... or they liked my hats.

I knew fairly early on that my hair had a strange growth pattern. The Barber would always do the same thing. They would stare at my head for a couple minutes. Grab the scissors, make a few cuts, groan and then reach for the hair clippers.

That's how I knew I was in trouble, when they reached for the hair clippers.

They'd say in a calm, reassuring tone, "I think this cut would look better if it was shorter....a lot shorter. "

One time I got two hair cuts in the same day.

I went to the barber, they chopped it up.

I went home, looked in the mirror..... and realized I looked like a stray dog.

I then went to Supercuts in an attempt to salvage my hair.

The lady looked at it, groaned and promised to make it better.

She made it worse.

I wore a hat for three months.

So now that I have a little money, I pay 55.00 dollars for a hair cut.

Not counting tip....or tips.

One for the stylist, another for the shampoo girl.

So basically I have to apply for financial aid.

I tip out more than people pay for their whole hair cut.

Truth is, I know guys who pay 55 dollars on haircuts..... for the whole year.

I pay for that every 6 weeks.

But it's worth it, the lady that cuts my hair is really good too. Actually she's great.

Her name is Nicole she's the manager of Carlton's hair in the Beverly Center. She's been cutting my hair for 6 years now. I followed her to two different locations. The company recruited her out of Germany, they paid her way and brought her to America so that she could cut hair for the company.

She teaches classes all over the U.S.

She does hair shows every two months.

Sometimes when I make an appointment, I have to wait a week because she's doing a hair show in New York.

She's 25 years old.

Seriously.

That's how I roll.

She's that good.

She takes an hour to cut my hair.

No joke.

Not counting the shampoo and rinse before and after, followed by the styling.

Guys know that's an unusual amount of time to spend on a trim. If this is a lady reading this, ask one's father, brother, boyfriend.....ETC. How long it takes for them to get a hair cut. I bet they say 20 minutes....tops, including the blow dry.

But it's worth.

I know because when I tell people how much I spend and they either look at me shocked or laugh at me because they think I'm kidding.

Then when I tell them it's the truth, they look at my hair closely, in disbelief, trying to find fault, and then admit it's worth it.

Now when I wear a hat it's not because I'm hiding something.

It's because I don't want the sun to cook my head.

Just the way I like it.



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1 comment:

JAGO said...

Are you sure you're not gay?